Political Info: Who Should Be On Next Season's Celebrity Apprentice? A Mediaite Wish List

Rabu, 23 Mei 2012

Who Should Be On Next Season's Celebrity Apprentice? A Mediaite Wish List

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Yesterday, a few days after crowning late night legend Arsenio Hall as his new Celebrity Apprentice, host Donald Trump took his to his Twitter account to crowdsource for the new season: 'Who would you like to see on next season of '#CelebrityApprentice'? Let us know- everyone wants to be on it.'

We here at Mediaite take this challenge seriously ' some of us may have not missed an episode since the Rod Blagojevich era ' and we've looked far and wide for the loudest, smartest, weirdest, and most controversial people to put on the show.

Contrary to popular belief, the appeal of watching Celebrity Apprentice does not lie in watching celebrities that have no business savvy fail spectacularly. On the contrary, it's always most fun when the teams accomplish formidable goals in prohibitive times, when people are actually competent. Competent and fiery. To that end, here is our slightly unrealistic, smarter-than-the-average-bear wish list of people we'd like to see get an interview to be Trump's next season of Celebrity Apprentice:

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Herman Cain

Herman Cain is nothing if not two things: a businessman (he's former CEO of the National Restaurant Association, after all) and a showman (need we say more?). Wanting Herman Cain to be on a show where he gets to be his colorful self while working various types of businesses is a no-brainer. Plus, Trump likes him, so he should be a shoo-in.

Pat Benatar

Many Celebrity Apprentice seasons have included a legendary rocker, and Pat Benatar has been far too quiet this decade aside from occasional touring. It's time for a comeback.

Vinny Guadagnino

Vinny from Jersey Shore was once a promising young college student, taking his LSATs and planning a well-read life and respectable career. Then he decided, on some whim, to audition for Jersey Shore, and a couple of years of incessant attention and living around some of the shallowest people on television drove him straight to therapy. Vinny deserves a chance to prove to America that he was more than the "normal" guy on Jersey Shore, the one Snooki was wise enough to want for herself most of all. He's got the reality TV drama down, being a professional and all, and has high potential to surprise in the smarts department.

Mary Matalin

Matalin is a very accomplished woman who relishes a challenge -- just what the game needs. Plus, as a campaign strategist who needs to be constantly plugged into a stream of information and constantly on the look-out for Machiavellian plots, she'll have an advantage.

Glenn Greenwald

Can you imagine the perpetual state of outrage Glenn Greenwald would be in on the set of this show? Not that I'm in favor of torturing anybody for the sake of high art (with all due respect to the proper definition of torture), but Greenwald is endless entertainment and a fair bit of education when tossed into the Real Time with Bill Maher panel for an hour on live TV. Let's multiply that hour by 48 or so a week and replace Bill Maher with Donald Trump and see what happens.

Heidi Fleiss

In a truly free society, Heidi Fleiss would be one of our preeminent female entrepreneurs. Instead, she has an uphill battle to fight in terms of rehabilitating her reputation (though she lives in Nevada last anyone checked, where her line of work is respected). So why not start with proving herself a business woman on Celebrity Apprentice?

Neil DeGrasse Tyson

It's a bit unfair to make everyone else compete with an astrophysicist, but too bad. Tyson is media savvy, shamelessly nit-picky (see the many times he has reminded Jon Stewart that the globe in the Daily Show intro spins in the wrong direction), and quite possibly the smartest person of his generation. Forget the challenges-- we want to see him handle the type of reality show drama that almost drove Penn Jillette insane.

Cher

She's Cher! And just look at Cher's Twitter account and tell me she wouldn't be perfect for this.

Clint Eastwood

Clint Eastwood is on this list for similar reasons to Springsteen-- he's manly and chiseled and a bit grumpy and watching him try to navigate photoshop with Vinny from Jersey Shore over his shoulder is a pleasant reverie.

Gloria Allred

Gloria Allred makes more than enough money and gets more than enough airtime without Celebrity Apprentice, there's no such thing as too much airtime! Plus, she has a history of tiffs with Trump-- the latest involving his penis for some reason-- a record of strife only a reality show could fix.

Levi Johnston

Levi Johnston was born to be a reality star. The stars have decreed it, and he strikes one as an easy-going guy. He has a reputation for not being all that bright, though, and watching him try to wash that away alongside Neil DeGrasse Tyson will be classic.

Goldie Taylor

Taylor is one of the sharpest political voices on cable news today and has a reputation for letting people have it when deserved. She'll deliver equal parts brainpower and high drama in the best, most honest way, and would be a frontrunner going into the finals of the season we predict. She'd also be the most likely to tell off Trump mid-boardroom discussion.

John Waters

Yes, John Waters is a legend. He doesn't have to do this, you will inevitably say. He also doesn't have to hitchhike across the nation seemingly aimlessly, though, and yet he seems to be doing that, so why not toss him into this mix? He could be this season's George Takei.

Kimberly Guilfoyle

Kimberly Guilfoyle does a great job on television of being approachable and fun, possibly the Five member who laughs the most, so it's easy to forget her extensive resume as a prosecutor. She has natural presentation skills and would be tough as nails in the boardroom. Plus, it's about time The Five had a cameo appearance on Celebrity Apprentice, and Trump would definitely come up with a challenge that would require her to call on her co-hosts.

Louis CK

Louis CK will hate this experience. He will hate it not because of any particular qualities of the experience, but because he hates everything (except his daughters, of course, and even those sometimes, too). Few things are as funny as Louis CK talking about things he hates, and being a great performer gives him an advantage. I predict he will get along best of all in this group with Fabio.

Chaka Khan

Chaka Khan took away from the spotlight for a few decades and only came back to national prominence in an interview with Piers Morgan this year, after the passing of Whitney Houston. She was brutally honest, sharp as a whip, and even in discussing somber topics, quite fun. America needs more of her in our lives.

Fabio

Aside from the fact that Fabio, the acclaimed (?) romance novel model, should be required to appear in at least 85% of all programming for obvious reasons, Celebrity Apprentice would be perfect for him for a number of reasons. For one, the show is often about rehabilitating the image and career of someone who has been around for a while (see Arsenio Hall, Bret Michaels), and a Fabio comeback is almost too good to wish for. It will also be difficult to see him not getting along with any of the women here, and will be great to see what he does in moments when a woman's honor is at stake-- moments like there were this season when Arsenio Hall called Aubrey O'Day every name in the book.

RuPaul

That RuPaul's career-- after more than two decades in the national spotlight-- has peaked in 2012 with his reality show RuPaul's Drag Race is a sign that RuPaul understands what it takes to be a long-standing figure and appeal to generations of people. He's also got a sense of publicity to rival any other-- remember his mission to find Ron Paul in New Hampshire?-- and his serious interviews show there's a lot of brainpower under that brilliant platinum wig.

Sofia Vergara

The last time I saw Sofia Vergara before this year's Emmys must have been 1997 or thereabouts, on a Univision travel show called Fuera de Serie. I have no idea what she did in the decade after that to make her one of America's biggest stars, but that takes some serious skill. [Ed. note: Frances is evidently not a fan of ABC's sitcom line-up.] And while she may be both beautiful and Latina, it's hard to imagine her taking any abuse the way Dayana Mendoza took in seemingly endless racism this season.

Bruce Springsteen

So you call yourself "The Boss," huh? How about proving it by applying for a [fake] job [on a reality TV show]? The thought of a confused, irritated Springsteen trying to put together a perfume display for the latest Trump project or inadvertently writing a song about how capitalism is terrible for a Trump real estate gala is just too good to pass up. And hey, if it'll keep him from writing another album of garbled protest lyrics and Working Class Guitar', all the better.

Rosie O'Donnell

This one is impossible, but it would do so much for both Rosie O'Donnell and Donald Trump's PR if they both buried the hatchet and went head to head on his show. It'll either confirm everything Trump thinks about her or make him completely reevaluate his opinion. And there's no way this would be bad TV.

Political Info

Rabu, 23 Mei 2012

Who Should Be On Next Season's Celebrity Apprentice? A Mediaite Wish List

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